Recently a client of mine died. He died in excruciating pain. He died quickly (but, perhaps, not quickly enough). He died fearfully. He died before his time.

If there is anything to be gained from his death, it is the lessons that we may learn from it.

It was about three years ago that a Godchild of mine asked if I would divine for a friend who was going through a particularly difficult time. When he called, he was exceptionally cheerful, yet his reading focused on a great deal of blockage, and pointed to a number of injustices that were being inflicted upon him. He was significantly off path, and needed to assert himself to make things right. When I asked about the specifics of what was going on in his life, they pretty much mirrored the reading. In short, his business was being taken away from him. People had lied, mislead and outright defrauded him. Nevertheless, on the surface, he joked and laughed about it. Rather than "get even," or try and recoup his losses, his focus was on where and what he should do from that point on.

As a Babalawo you see many responses to divination, and even though my interpretation of his Odu indicated that forceful action should be taken, the client ultimately crowns their own head. With his rejection that we "go to war" with his enemies, we moved on to what and where he might next go.

When my Godchild, who was his very good friend, asked if I had been able to help, I could only repeat what had occurred. " That's just like him," she said, "you can never get him to assert himself." This particular Godchild is, by the way, a child of Ogun, so asserting oneself is never a problem for her!

Over the next three years he would call for readings from time to time. He was always cheerful on the phone. He had left the West Coast and was living in a small Florida town. He wasn't satisfied with the work he was doing, and he was somewhat concerned by his occasional excesses with liquor, but his attitude was always one of "go with the flow."

It was a little over three months ago that I received an E-mail from him. " Something that may be real problem has come up. I may need your help. Can I get a reading in the next day or so?" I was so struck by his even acknowledging that a "real problem" might have come up, that I e-mailed him back and set the appointment for the following night

When he called, he was his usual cheerful self. I asked what the problem was. He responded that he had been to the doctor about a small mass under his arm, and after examining him the Doctor felt he had pancreatic cancer. They were doing a biopsy the following day. My reading confirmed his doctor's suspicions. I asked that he call me when he got the actual results and we would see if anything could be done.

If one is a competent and caring Babalawo, a situation like this troubles you on a number of levels. Not only did I feel sadness and compassion for the client whom, despite his perpetually lighthearted behavior, was facing what amounted to a death sentence, but I was also troubled about what I might have been done to prevent it happening in the first place. Was there something I had missed? Was there something I should have insisted upon?

Through the years of my practice I have seen those with incurable diseases cured. I have seen the infertile bear children. I have functioned as the conduit between Orisa energy and individuals with problems and difficulties that seemed unfixable by Western standards. I have seen that energy fix the unfixable. I have also seen those who can no longer be helped, as well as those who refuse to be. And, I have struggled to understand the differences as well as my relationship to them. I struggled once again to understand this particular situation.

As I looked back at the six or seven readings I had done for this client over the last three years, there was one recurrent theme: his refusal to be confrontational on any level. Whether he was losing his business, his home or his relationship, he jokingly (but adamantly) refused to be confrontation ally pro-active about saving them. I remembered one conversation in particular where I had tried to insist he do something. "Look," I said, " Pam (the Ogun Godchild who had originally referred him to me) would kick some butt here. She wouldn't just let it slide." " I know," he replied, " but it just isn't me. I can't do things that way." And, he did not.

Instead, he masked his pain and loss with an exterior of laughing and cheerfulness. But, that didn't deal with the negative energy the pain and loss carried with it. Instead, as I have seen in thousands of people, he shoved that negative energy away in an internal compartment where he felt he didn't have to feel or deal with.... or so he thought. In reality that negative energy, unless dealt with, not only doesn't go away, it begins to fester and torment. In some it causes anger or relationship issues. In others it causes substance abuse or weight problems. In others it clogs arteries. In my clients case it caused pancreatic cancer.

At what point does an energy imbalance become fatal? I do not know. Perhaps, three years ago, had he fought to save his business, career and home, his body might have opened those dark corners where the negative energy is stuffed away and released it. Perhaps his body could then have healed itself. Perhaps had he acknowledged his pain and loss, had he shed tears, or thrown objects at a wall, instead of laughing and pretending it did not matter, perhaps then equilibrium, balance and homeostasis could have been achieved. Sadly, he managed none of these.

The real tragedy, besides the personal pain and family loss, is the individual's failure to grow and obtain wisdom from this life experience. He will have another opportunity to do so during another temporal experience. It behooves us to not make the same mistakes.

We have been given the greatest gift in the universe, the gift of guidance. When we combine this with good character and our love of all the energies around us, our destiny will be fulfilled and we will have no fear of dying before our time.

Blessings!...
Philip Neimark
Oluwo